Awkward Toddler Steps

I’ve been in full pursuit of “living my best life” lately.  I’m entrenched in an epic search for the academic concept of “True Fun”: the magical confluence of playfulness, connection, and flow.  I’m learning new things and in this am reminded that in any new endeavor, you just don’t get to skip the part where you suck😊

​It’s an unfortunate truth.  When you’re learning a new language as an adult, you’re going to stumble around like a baby (but way less cute) saying awkward things and accidentally offending people.  When you’re learning to knit, you’re going to create the most ridiculous lumpy misshapen too small sweater not even fit for a squirrel, and when you’re learning to whitewater kayak, you’re going to swim…a lot, and maybe even pin your boat😊.

And so I found myself in the heart of rivers, frustrated and exhausted, muscles aching, acutely aware of the toddler stage I am in this most recent side quest, and still grinning from ear to ear.  Because that’s the thing isn’t it?  Learning and growing is a hoot!  Why do we think children are so happy?  Is it innate joy or the process?  Based on my current experience, I suspect it’s more of the process (and not knowing enough to care what other people think about where you are in that process).

That was the thing about being beginning farmers.  We were so busy putting out fires to notice the myriad of newly created problems we were trailing in our wake.  We look back from our current vantage point of 20 years of practice and cringe, but also see that those younger versions of ourselves were grinning from ear to ear as they learned and grew and built this system from the ground up one mistake at a time.  And I suspect the future versions of us will look back at where we are now and cringe but also smile.

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