“If it feeds you more fear than joy, skip it”, she says to me. Perhaps she can see the fear in my eyes, but I’m familiar with the feeling. I shrug, and keep going. I know the order of operations. It’s not “more fear than joy”, but rather, “first fear then joy”. Always. The joy comes from powering through the fear, from doing it despite being afraid.
I’ve been told that this is what courage is: being afraid and doing it anyway. I never would have considered myself a courageous person. I know I tend more toward the “flight” end of the adrenalin response. But in some contexts, I find fear to be a signal of future joy and power though.
I want to say I just learned this from our new hobby/addiction/obsession (whitewater kayaking), but I know there was fear as I headed off into the unknown of west Africa at age 19. Or even to the unknown of Kentucky at 17. And certainly at the unknown jumping off the cliff into full time vegetable farming.
And oh! The joy that is borne from that fear. The celebration of spirit that clambered over that boulder of apprehension. The printed exclamation point does not do the exhilaration justice (even multiple ones), but alas, this is our medium of expression at the moment, so feast your eyes on the joy: !!!!
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.